


All Their Words For Glory

by foolycoolie



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, cayde processing his grief after andal's death, it's a sad one folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-17 18:48:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13665081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolycoolie/pseuds/foolycoolie
Summary: Even after his death, Andal Brask is always full of surprises.





	All Their Words For Glory

Funerals were a rare event in the Tower. The nature of Guardians is that death holds little power over them, that their Light extends beyond the reaches of the void. It is easy to forget that Guardians are not immortal, so when they are lost to the Darkness it is a stark reminder that the Light is not invincible. It is rare for the Tower to mourn but they did not lose just a Guardian: they lost a Vanguard.

The Traveler’s Walk is filled with people for the service. Many of them are wearing white or gold and the cement is littered with candles, tokens to remember the lost Light. Close to the end of the Walk stood a still freshly appointed Commander Zavala and Ikora Rey, whispering furiously to each other. Both of them were in their proper Vanguard attire but had white ribbons with faint gold detailing tied around their wrists. The crowd mingled in solemn murmurs. Away from the crowd, a lone figure stood leaning against one of the grand trees close to the entrance. The figure was an Exo, dressed in Hunter armour with a bright white cloak. The hood was pulled up to conceal their face. Whoever the Exo was, they didn’t want anyone to know they were here.

Silence quickly fell across the crowd and the Exo looked up to see Zavala stepping forward to the small podium that was set up. He shuffled a small set of cards in his hands, clearing his throat before looking out to the crowd.

“Andal Brask was one of the finest Guardians the City has ever known. He was a truly formidable Hunter in the field with marksman skills unmatched by many of our other snipers. However, Andal was not just a talented fighter. He was dedicated and compassionate, going above and beyond in service to the Traveler and the City. He helped to shape the Tower as we know it today with heavy involvement in the Faction Accords. For many of us, Andal was not just a Vanguard or a Guardian, but a friend. His Light will be sorely missed by many, and the City will never be the same without him.”

At some point during the speech, the Exo turned around and left, Zavala’s words echoing behind them.

 

Andal is gone.

The words echo in his chest like the remnants of a gunshot. Gone. Not dead, but actually gone. His Ghost, his Light, snuffed out all too much like the flame of a candle. In any other situation, Cayde would have thought this to be an elaborate ruse and expected his dear old friend to walk through the door to his quarters any moment now, a little bruised but with a sly smile on his face. In reality, Andal was lying buried in the field in the City outskirts where those who lost their Light came to finally rest. In reality, Cayde is standing alone in his room. In reality, there’s a hole in the wall where he put his fist through it the other day and bits of drywall are crumbling onto the floor. The metal of his knuckles are all scratched up. His hand is permanently clenched, fingers digging into the palm. Even if he forced his way through the metal, it wouldn’t help. There’s a furious flame within his core that has no way out and it’s only burning brighter. It wants to consume him whole and he wouldn’t mind if it did because he’s  _ angry.  _ He’s angry that he left the service early because he couldn’t take it. He’s angry that he was stuck in the Tower when Andal went out on the mission that got him killed. He’s angry that he had to stay behind when he should have been on the fireteam too. He’s angry that Andal is gone and he’s still here with no clue how he’s meant to fill the role of Hunter Vanguard. He’s angry that he wasn’t the one who died because Andal was a better man than he will ever be.

His fist collides with the wall again, a few inches to the left of last time. He doesn’t completely break through but the drywall has a new dent in it. His entire body shudders and wheezes but nothing else happens. There are no tears, only the ceaseless rage of a machine built for war.

 

“Cayde...” The soft voice of his Ghost slices through the silence and tension in the room. They hover near him, cautiously keeping at a distance.  _ Smart _ , he thinks for a brief seconds as he turns his head to look at them. Their single optic flickers from side to side as they glance over his face. He can tell that they’re worried about him and he immediately feels guilty. He can only wonder what Ghost has been thinking, watching as he’s been slowly falling apart.

“What is it?” His voice is low and somewhat hoarse, voice box croaking from being pushed to the limit over the last few days.

“There’s a message here for you. I think you should read it.”

Of course there is. “Tell Zavala and Ikora that I’m not in the mood right now.”

“It’s not from them.” Now that was unexpected. He wasn’t sure who else would be trying to message him at this time if not for the other two Vanguards. Cayde looked over to the tablet resting on his desk where a small notification was flashing on the screen. His Ghost floated over to it, somewhat gesturing for Cayde to have a look. He sullenly walked to the desk, picking up the tablet as he sat down in the chair and flicked open the notification to see who it was from.

_ You have one new message. _

_ Sender: A. Brask (ID:07112890) _

_ Subject: ‘For Cayde’ _

Cayde felt like he had been suddenly punched in the gut. All he could think was, “That’s impossible”. The timestamp on the message was only a couple of hours ago while he was at the service. The sender ID was Andal’s too, but there’s no way he could be messaging Cayde. Was this some kinda prank or hacker that had gotten into Andal’s account? Cayde looked up at his Ghost, who gently bobbed up and down in an attempt to simulate a shrug. When he opened the message, it was empty but had a video file attached to it. Cayde quickly looks up at Ghost again for some kind of advice on if he should open the video. The Ghost only gives him another half shrug. He takes a heavy breath in and gently taps on the video to play it.

 

As soon as the video loads, Cayde’s breath immediately gets caught in his throat. The first few seconds are blurry as someone adjusts the camera but soon after Andal comes into frame and sits down in front of the camera. He looks somewhat tired and disheveled, curly hair sticking out at strange angles and dark circles under his eyes. It’s still the same Andal though: same soft features and dark hair with buzzed sides and gentle brown eyes. He’s dressed in the casual outfit that Guardians wear around the Tower: a simple grey shirt and pants with the orange Hunter emblem on the sleeve of the shirt. Cayde immediately recognizes the background as the interior of Andal’s room. He can’t tell exactly when this video was filmed though. Andal moves around in his chair a bit before settling and looking up at the camera.

_ “I’m not exactly sure how I’m meant to start this.” _ He says with a half chuckle, scratching the back of his head. He then lets out a heavy sigh, briefly looking away from the camera.  _ “Oh, stars.”  _ Andal quickly looks back up, regaining his serious demeanor.

_ “Cayde… if you’re watching this video, then that means one of two things has happened. Either I’ve completely dropped out of the Tower’s communication network because I’m having an incredible and heroic adventure on some distant planet, in which case I’m very sorry for not bringing you and I’ll give you all the details when I get back, or I’m dead. I’ve programmed this video to automatically send to you if it’s been 5 days since my Ghost last pinged the Tower network. Most likely reason for that occuring is if my Ghost is gone and my Light’s been crushed. So… if you  _ are _ watching this, well, I hope I went out with my dignity in tact.” _

Andal pauses to take a breath and Cayde realises that he’s been clutching onto the tablet. Hearing Andal again has torn the healing wound in his chest right back open again. He had already started to forget his voice after only five days.

_ “Cayde, I need you to be aware of something. Please don’t blame yourself for my death. I know that if I’ve allowed out on a mission then you would have had to stay back and fill my space while I’m gone. If I died on that mission, then you’ll be mad that you weren’t on the mission as well and you couldn’t do anything to save me. Whatever happened, Cayde, it wasn’t your fault. You can’t beat yourself up about it. I don’t want you to live with the guilt of not being able to save me for the rest of your life.” _

_ “I know you’re probably mad at me, and I understand. Trust me, I wanted to finish my term as Vanguard without any issues and retire to some beach in Old Hawaii so I could watch Crucible matches and drink cocktails in peace. Unfortunately, as Guardians we don’t exactly have the safest job description. You’re gonna be thrown into the deep end stepping up to be the next Hunter Vanguard and I know you don’t feel prepared for it. But I wouldn’t have let you do the Dare if I didn’t think you’d be up to the role. You know all the patrol routes, all the secret hideouts, and you know all the Hunters that work for the Vanguard. You’ll do great, and Zavala and Ikora will be there to help you when I can’t. Learn to get along with them and trust them, and it’ll make your life a whole lot easier.” _

_ “And… Cayde?”  _ Andal looks into the camera, directly at Cayde, and a small smile breaks out on his lips.  _ “I’m proud of you. I really am. I’m so damn proud of you.” _ The smile grows wider and wider as he talks and it makes something in Cayde’s chest ache fierce.  _ “I hope you’ll never have to watch this and one day we’ll both be free of the Vanguard and we can be a fireteam again and go off into the wilds like the good old days. But if that day never comes, then I want you to know that I’ll always be with you.” _ An aura of sadness seems to overtake him but he’s still smiling even if it’s been diminished.  _ “I love you, Cayde. I was better for having known you.”  _ Andal leans back in slightly towards the camera and the video suddenly ends, frozen on that last frame.

 

Cayde sits there for a couple moments in complete silence, staring at the tablet screen like he was waiting for it to do something. His Ghost slowly inches closer to him, trying to get a glimpse of what he was thinking. “...Cayde? Are you alright?”

A low noise comes from Cayde, a barely audible hum, and quickly builds and builds until he’s howling as loud as his body will allow it. It’s a raw and broken sound that eventually breaks down into jagged croaks and gasps. His entire body is shaking violently, wracked with tremors that he can’t control. The tablet slips out of his grasp and hits the hardwood floor with a gentle  _ thud.  _ Ghost gently tucks themselves in the crook between his chin and chest, hoping their presence would help to soothe him. 

“It’s alright, Cayde. You’re okay.”

“I miss him. I don’t know what to do.” Cayde’s voice is soft, laced with sadness he can’t physically get rid of. “I don’t know what to do, Ghost.”

“I know, I know, it’s okay. You’re allowed to let yourself grieve. You’re gonna be okay.”

Cayde cups his hands over his Ghost, holding them in place. They sit there like that for hours as he lets the wails move through his system at their own pace and Ghost gently reassures him. They sit even as the sky fades from blue to pink and orange to black and the stars emerge, the stars that will always follow Cayde, the stars that remind him of his fallen friend.

**Author's Note:**

> i had the idea for this fic shortly after publishing 'la lune' and i've finally gotten around to writing it after the whirlwind these last couple months have been. i know that being sad and vulnerable is a little off from the cayde we know and love in the game, but i wanted to explore that different take of him \o/. i promise to try and write something happy for these two next time (maybe something multi chapter finally).  
> title is from glory by bastille which is currently one of my peak cayde/andal songs.
> 
> you can find me at [arkstriders](http://arkstriders.tumblr.com) on tumblr or [@specterette](http://twitter.com/specterette) on twitter if you'd like to see more of my destiny content! (please talk to me about destiny i have a lot to say)


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